Blog
April / 2024
Woke up this morning with an urge to write down my thoughs and feelings to share my expirence post- graduation. It’s been just over 6 months since I moved out to Iowa for my first full time design position.
I feel times where I’m uncomfortable and alone can produce some of my best work, or make me fall into deep depression that takes months to get out of. Since moving here, I’ve wanted to channel my frustration from my lonliness into my work. For a month or two I was going very strong, constantly sketching and finding joy in designing after work.
My energy has tappered off in the last 6 months. I long to be around friends and family, only finding motivation and excitment when they are near. My brains creates a slipping feeling with my friendships as I become distant from their lives, feeling like an outsider to the life I once lived. Seeking any sort of relationship feels unobtainable as I feel so displaced, struggling to make deep connections through apps and work events. My job becomes harder as I struggle to get out of bed some days. I dump countless weeks into my design work, just for it all to get dismissed in an instant. I regret how I left things with friends in college, wishing I could have just one more semester to feel normal again. I feel like I’m treading water. I fear losing the people and things in life I love.
These feeling are just temporary though.
Studying industrial design gave me a feeling of purpose and creativity I had never felt before. My friends made me feel seen, wanted, and loved in ways I never felt I deserved. Remember today is just one day, and your feeling are just feelings. Notice them, but dont let them hold you back.
My hope with this blog is to weaken the grip fear has on my life. We have a whole future to look towards, and I want to spend that time pursuing the things I love with the people I love.
May / 2024
I’ve been thinking alot about time. It feels so exponential yet so limited in what you can do with it. Growing up, you feel so pushed to quickly get your life on track. As a kid its the countdown of going to college, in college it’s the countdown of graduating & finding a job. I came out of that 22 year sprint in a blur with no direction of what to do now, and anxiety over every step I take. Everyday became a feeling of time wasted not knowing what I wanted my future to be or how to get there.
So where do you go from here?
For me, it was thinking about what a future I would be proud of myself for would look like. Thinking past the walls & restrictions I set up in my head to help with my fear of failure. Creating larger goals for myself 5-10 years out like starting a personal brand to explore my passions in furniture, fashion, homegood, & cooking. Goals with no direct path, but room for me to grow and keep moving foreward by spending time digging into these passions.
Now spending time laying out my theroetical visual brand language, sketching up a cutlery line, building a cafe layout in Blender; they all feel like I’m making progress. Time dosen’t feel so wasted now. I’m now in a feedback loop where the happiness I find in these little tasks gives me a more positive outlook about life in general, giving me more motivation to keep pursuing these big goals. Feeling so displaced currently, so far from my friends and family; it gets very hard to find motivation or happiness everyday. Stepping back from my current situation, and appreciating the process of life can really help find that bit of joy you need to keep going. I’ve found love for hobbies I would have never tried if I just stayed inside those walls in my head.
If your struggling or feeling lost in this moment, write down a few ideas of where/what you’d love to be in 5 years. Add a few small step you could take each day or week, like setting time to sketch, learn a new program, or even cooking a healthy meal 3 days a week. Sticking to these tasks will be hard, but can really build confidence and make you feel like time isnt wasted anymore.
So just take a breath, and remember we got this ::)
July / 2024
I dont really know when exactly that moment of shift is when you change habits or mindsets, but I think over the past few months my mind has slowly flipped a switch. It feels more possible to put energy and passion into my work, and easier to dismiss the stresses that can bog me down. I feel more encorgement slowly pushing myself to spend time doing the art and design I really enjoy. When I focus on painting, building landscapes or city streets in Blender, and creating fake brands, moodboards & marketing materials.