Blog
April / 2024
Woke up this morning with an urge to write down my thoughs and feelings to share my expirence post- graduation. It’s been just over 6 months since I moved out to Iowa for my first full time design position.
I feel times where I’m uncomfortable and alone can produce some of my best work, or make me fall into deep depression that takes months to get out of. Since moving here, I’ve wanted to channel my frustration from my lonliness into my work. For a month or two I was going very strong, constantly sketching and finding joy in designing after work.
My energy has tappered off in the last 6 months. I long to be around friends and family, only finding motivation and excitment when they are near. My brains creates a slipping feeling with my friendships as I become distant from their lives, feeling like an outsider to the life I once lived. Seeking any sort of relationship feels unobtainable as I feel so displaced, struggling to make deep connections through dumb apps and work events. My job becomes harder to do as I struggle to get out of bed some days. I dump countless weeks into my design work, just for it all to get dismissed and thrown away in an instant. I regret how I left things with friends in college, wishing I could have just one more semester to feel normal again. I feel like I’m treading water. I fear losing the people and things in life I love.
These feeling are just temporary though.
Studying industrial design gave me a feeling of purpose and creativity I had never felt before. My friends made me feel seen, wanted, and loved in ways I never felt I deserved. Remember today is just one day, and your feeling are just feelings. Notice them, but dont let them hold you back.
My hope with this blog is to weaken the grip fear has on my life. We have a whole future to look towards, and I want to spend that time pursuing the things I love with the people I love.